“Our thoughts are affecting our mental metabolism, if you want energy that’s going to keep you going then start having some better self-talk,” explains Kate Eckman who is an accomplished entrepreneur, coach and author. The power of our mind shapes our success. Listen as Eckman shares her 10-step approach to becoming a better you and reaching maximum potential.
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>>>>> Fol
“Our thoughts are affecting our mental metabolism, if you want energy that’s going to keep you going then start having some better self-talk,” explains Kate Eckman who is an accomplished entrepreneur, coach and author. The power of our mind shapes our success. Listen as Eckman shares her 10-step approach to becoming a better you and reaching maximum potential.
Chapter Summaries:
Notable Quotes/Takeaways:
Resource Links:
If you enjoyed this episode, click here to watch/listen to more from Million Dollar Monday.
Subscribe and receive updates when new episodes are available.
>>>>> Fol
And so let's start talking about the 10 steps because in the book you talk about your 10 step system and let's just kind of touch on them one by one, if we could. And I love the first one, talk to us a little bit about stretching ourselves beyond our comfort zone.
Speaker 2:Yeah. And that step starts out with a beautiful quote that says a man grows most tired while standing still. And, and, you know, I know that it is uncomfortable to step outside and stretch our comfort zone because we like being comfy. I get it. I like my comp, my blankets and my jammies, but this is where life gets really juicy. When, when we, we take that risk and dare to step outside, that's when we build the musculature to become the men and women who can actually achieve our goals.
Speaker 1:Hello, and welcome to million dollar Monday. I'm your host, Greg, Muzzillo bringing you real successful people with real useful advice for people with big dreams. I understand big dreams. I turned an investment of$200 and a lot of great advice from some really successful people into my big dream proforma. That today is a half billion dollar company. Hello and welcome. I'm very energized to introduce my guest for today. Many of you know, most of my guests are successful entrepreneurs and in their stories, we hear great advice for being more successful. And today we have a guest that in her own right has an entrepreneurial background. She also is an executive coach, a certified executive coach, and has authored a book, all the poles, spirit workout. And it is an incredible book. I think it's worth the purchase price just for the 10 affirmations that are in there because the end of the day, success and driving success is a mindset. It's the mindset and how we think inside of our brain and how we think who we are and who we can become. And all of that stuff that's in our mind can either bring us to the success we're seeking, or maybe the failure that we can bring, or the lack of full success we might bring onto ourselves. So let me, without any further fanfare, I, I love her book. I am excited to be talking to Kate Ekman author of the full spirit workout. Kate, welcome. Thank you for joining me,
Speaker 2:Greg. It is such an honor to be here. I'm I'm so excited. And I just have to even say to your audience how cool you're in Tampa bay. I'm in New York city, but we're both Ohio kids. We went to the, the big Catholic schools in this state that are athletic powerhouses. And I just, I feel like you're an old friend already, so thank you. Yeah.
Speaker 3:Yeah. We went to those Catholic schools and we survived it and we can still talk about it. Oh my God. I'm sure. I'm sure we've got our stories about all of that too. So speaking of stories, please start from the beginning. Tell me a little bit about your growing up years, your education. I know you've got quite an athletic background as an elite athlete, uh, in your career. What were those experiences that led you to become a certified executive coach and to write this great book?
Speaker 2:Oh, thank you so much. Well, my whole life growing up was about athletics and, and growing up in Ohio, this was a actually a powerhouse sports state. And so my, my family also plays a lot of emphasis on academics and education and higher education. And, you know, I did spent so much time training my physical muscles to compete at a high level. And I think our society places so much emphasis on the physical body and what we look like and much less attention is paid to our inner muscles, our mental, emotional, spiritual, spiritual, our attitudinal muscles. And those are the most important. And you get those strengthened. The physical takes care of itself, but for me, you know, going about my life and having a forward facing career and being in New York city on the rat race. And I just, you know, picture that hamster sweating and running feverously and it's like, nothing was ever enough because you reach a certain level of success. You look to your right, they've got millions of dollars. You look to your left, they've got so much fame and, and you never feel enough. And, and I like most people was placing my worth in the, you know, shiny objects and what we look like and the money and the pressing people, you know, it's a symptom of our culture. So I have compassion for all of us, but it was an unsustainable lifestyle. I had wake up calls and losing two dear friends to suicide in one year. And I just, it wasn't working. You know, I really had to look at the way I was choosing to live my life. And, and luckily I did have a strong foundation being a, you know, a nice Ohio kid with a, uh, a good background. And so I went back to school years ago and I studied whole person coaching techniques at Columbia university and the neuroscience and the positive psychology. And I really wanted to develop the keys to a better way of living. And, and that was, you know, the, the premise and the passion and the purpose behind this book, besides dedicating it to my two dear friends and everyone, which is all of us who struggles with mental health.
Speaker 3:Yeah, absolutely. And, uh, you know, you told an incredible story about a moment in time in the book, and I don't know if you want to talk at all about it, but it was a raw moment when you kind of called your brother. That's a doctor and had asked for some prescriptions and kiddingly, but maybe not so much kiddingly suggested you might take the whole bottle. You want to talk about that moment? Because it seemed to me that was about when you hit bottom.
Speaker 2:Yeah. And I appreciate you bringing it up. Not because it's, it's easier pleasant to talk about. It's, it's one of the most difficult moments of my life. Um, and I I'm feeling some emotion around it now because I think that so many people are struggling and don't talk about it and don't reach out for help. And, and the two people, I lost men, what are men taught to do? Oh, you don't talk about any of that and you need to present, like you've got it altogether at all times, keep that stiff upper lip and the spirit of being a man. And it's so toxic and unhealthy. So while I never thought growing up in Ohio as a swimmer, that, that my life would be about speaking openly about mental health and suicide prevention awareness. I'm honored to do this work. And I've been there myself where, yeah. I met the Duane Reed across from Penn station and Manhattan contemplating taking a bottle of pills, not because I wanted to hurt myself, but because I was in so much pain and I just desperately wanted it to go away and thank God I did reach out to my brother. Who's a physician. And I was very candid with him, like saying, I just want to take the whole bottle and go to sleep. And he said, I'm calling the cops. And it was that jolt of like, oh my gosh, who have I become? And I'm now a woman in a pharmacy wanting to take a bottle of pills and end my life, like what? Um, but that was like my friends, they, they had it all on the outside and that's how people, uh, you know, thought of, of me. And I think it's, it's a human moment. I think it only takes a moment to forget who we are to, to end a life or to make a tragic mistake or to harm ourselves or others in some way, and to get a grip on these feelings and these emotions before we get to that moment and the pharmacy. And I think the beautiful thing about that moment is I know what it's like to be in so much pain and be in a dark place. And I don't want anyone else to ever be in that place, or if they get there to feel stuck in that place. And that's what this work and this book is all about.
Speaker 3:Yeah. It really, truly is a great work, a great book. And, uh, like I said, I especially love the affirmations, but I love so much more of the book. And I do like how you talk about, even though those were dear friends of yours and sadly, uh, they came to an untimely end. Uh, but when we define our success, when we define our joy, when we let our happiness be by others, um, we're always possibly going to be let down. And the only person that can't let us down if we choose not to let us down as ourselves. And, and so let's start talking about the 10 steps, because in the book you talk about your 10 step system and let's just kind of touch on them one by one, if we could. And, and, and I love the first one, talk to us a little bit about stretching ourselves beyond our comfort zone.
Speaker 2:Yeah. And that step starts out with a beautiful quote that says a man grows most tired while standing still. And, and, you know, I know that it is uncomfortable to step outside and stretch our comfort zone because we like being comfy. I get it. I, I like my, my blankets and my jammies, but this is where life gets really juicy. When, when we, we take that risk and dare to step outside, that's when we build the musculature to become the men and women who can actually achieve our goals and studies show that we have to be in a certain level of anxiety and discomfort, not heightened, but a little, Ooh, this is I'm, uh, you know, the butterflies in your stomach, you know, I would get before the big race or something that actually stretches you into the person who can perform at the highest level that increases your performance. And I like to think of our comfort zone as just this arbitrary boundary that we've created in our minds based on fear. And you can delete that mentality at any time. I'm not saying it's easy, but it is a simple thing to do. And then you, you, co-create a new story or mantra for yourself. And in my experience, when I'm, I'm willing to take that risk, the universe steps into assist me. And I even share a story about, you know, kind of the fear and uncertainty about leaving Los Angeles and a city. I'd never thought I would leave moving to Chicago for, uh, to give my shot with my then boyfriend, a real chance that relationship a real chance and put my home on the, on the market. I didn't want to move. And there was a lot of trepidation, just the culture and the climate change alone was a lot to bear LA to Chicago. But anyway, I put my, my home on the market and it sold. It's still to this day, this was 2004, the height of the U S real estate market. My home tripled in value in three years. I think a lot of people are experiencing that now the same sort of trend. And so what that says is that you will be given guidance and assistance. If you are willing, just be willing to stretch and let life work for you, rather than against you.
Speaker 3:I also say to people have your antennas up the universe census messages, but we have to receive them. We have to have our antennas that we have to be aware of what the universe is telling us. And I, I'm a great believer believer that, you know, we only can experience life, sort of what lane at a time you can only switch one lane, another lane, another lane it's kind of dangerous to switch three lanes all at once. And, but so many people have, I think so many more lanes to experience in life and in concentric circles where things get bigger and, and life can be so much bolder, but you just kind of have to push yourself to turn, put, put on that turning signal and, and, and go through the discomfort if you will, of changing lanes. Cause it's in changing those lanes that the great things happen and, uh, our universe expands. Uh, I love it. And I'm so happy that you started the book there because be comfortable being uncomfortable, right? Little uncomfortable, little anxiety is where learning and growth takes place. I love that chapter. So step number two is lift yourself up.
Speaker 2:Yeah. And this is a chapter. That's a lot about healthy body image and, and with our culture's obsession with our body and what we look like and, and really placing the emphasis back on our inner characteristics that we can strengthen, like our intelligence, our kindness, our compassion, and, and beginning to look at ourself with more grace and acceptance, knowing that we are so much more than what we look like and, and, and focusing on what we can give rather than what we can get. And I think a lot of people pay lip service to self-love and all of that stuff. But, but I see a lot of times that their, their self-love is actually self-hatred mast, meaning they're, they're putting the image on Instagram, or they're saying this, but behind the scenes and underneath the pretty image. And I know this because I was one of those people and I was there full disclosure. But on the inside, you are feeling lacking in value because you have decided to plug into societal standards that you don't even believe in that tell you, you have to look like this to be worthy, valuable, get a man, get a woman, get the job, have money, whatever it is. So this is lifting ourselves up as lifting ourselves out of the, the, you know, dungeon of doom and despair of that sort of mentality. And then being honest with ourselves about how we really feel about our bodies. And then, you know, I had people even doing an exercise, even like, write those limiting beliefs down, burn them, and then come up with a whole new thought system and game plan for yourself based on the truth. Not some lie that you've picked up years ago that you've collected evidence for as you've gone about your life. Yeah. Yep,
Speaker 3:Absolutely. And, uh, my biggest struggle, quite candidly, and I'm getting better at it, but I still struggle with it is when I compare myself to others. Um, I have to lift myself up out of that because if I compare myself to others, there are others that are not doing as well as I am and whatever area I'm trying to do well in, but that makes me comfortable. Right. Hey, I'm doing okay. And then let them sort of catch up if you will, but then there's other people doing way better than I am. And then that kind of beats me down a little bit. So I just, I have to work extra at just being happy in my own skin and being comfortable with who I am without comparing myself to others. That's a, that's a battle for me
Speaker 2:Can pay because you're human and it's, it's a battle for everyone, by the way, comparison is such a trap and we've all fallen victim to that. And especially in the world and the age of social media, and it is a, a human, you know, default setting. That's why we have to do these inner exercises to make our default setting where we are just so centered and grounded and what we are doing. But I think that's the thing too, is because I get judged and P it's kind of like, must be nice to be her, but they don't see all the behind the scenes struggle. They don't see or know, or even care to find out or discover by asking deep, rich, meaningful questions who I am. And I think that's, what's really resonated with people. And the promotion of this book is that they people think I'm this. And then they're like, oh wow, you're really this. And, um, I think giving everybody the opportunity to share their truth, both,
Speaker 3:It really is a great chapter lifting ourselves up out of so much that we need to be lifted up out of it. And then taking us to the third step, which is feeling the burn, which gets to gratitude. Also, we're going to talk about that in a second, but I know because of your background in athletics and elite athletics, we kind of get to feeling the burn, talk about feeling the burn.
Speaker 2:Yeah. This is really getting clear about where did those limiting beliefs even come from? And I share a story about being four years old at the swim club and overhearing my swim instructor, communicate to my mother that he didn't think I was a very good swimmer and my little sweet, innocent four-year-old self translating that into a mentality that said, oh my gosh, I need to perform at a really high level and be really good at things so that my mom and dad loved me and are proud of me and I can feel safe in the world. And I guess I need to impress strangers like random dudes at the swim club. So they don't talk badly about me. And I, I don't have to feel bad about myself. And so, you know what that did to me as a human and, and it, on the, on the one hand, it led me to someone very driven and ambitious, and I broke every swimming record at that swim club. Thank you very much, mark. This woman's structor, but at what cost, I was a woman who was obsessed with performance and perfectionism, and as a result filled with anxiety and insecurity. So we have these origin story thought patterns. Most of us don't even know we have them, they're subconscious. And then we go about our life collecting evidence for that rather than collecting evidence for the truth, that we are powerful, that we can do. Whatever we decide is important enough and leaning into the complements. How often do we dismiss compliments from people like, oh, they don't really mean that, or I'm not really that great, but yeah, I guess thanks. So just being more conscious of that and a way to do this is, you know, by taking your spiritual, um, one, one of the ways you can do that is, is what I call a gratitude visit. Actually, I don't call it this Martin Seligman, the founder of positive psychology calls it, this it's a, it's a lesson that, that I got from him during my research that I found fascinating and wanted to try out for myself. And I invite everyone to do this sooner rather than later. But think of someone who has changed your life for the better and a profound way who you've never properly thanked and write them a 300 word letter and call them up and say, you'd like to come visit them. Don't tell them why and read them this letter. You might have to do it on zoom. Um, COVID I know is getting cleared up, but maybe they live in Australia for instance. So zoom works too. That's how I did my visit, but read them this letter. And what happens is, you know, you weep the other person weeps, want to cry thinking about it and, and your wellbeing needle skyrockets positively rather than, you know, thinking we need more money or we need to look cute or whatever to feel better. This is proven to make you feel better and not only for you, but for the other person. And, and normally we do these things at someone's funeral. When they're gone, let's start doing this and practicing these gratitude visits now and pick more than one person. Um, it, it has a profound lasting impact on your happiness and wellbeing.
Speaker 3:Well, I love it. And, uh, that actually touched me just reading about it, which gets us to number four, strengthen your core confidence.
Speaker 2:Yeah. This is where my research comes in about the five PS of confidence and they are presence, patience, purpose, okay. Preparation and practice. And because I'd love you, I'm going to give you two bonus piece and that's pause and person as in be a person. And I know we don't have hours, so I'll just quickly bounce through them. But presence is about showing up. Like you mean it with energy, with enthusiasm. This is what the full spirit is all about. It's bringing your authentic truth and power to everyone you meet and everything that you do turning off the devices, being fully there with yourself or whomever you're with. And, and, and so it's, it's being present and bringing the presence, right? Uh, patients, my favorite story to illustrate patients, which by the way, this word comes from the Latin word for suffering. And when I, I learned that I thought, no wonder we hate being patient we're suffering while we're waiting for the thing I understand. Right. But that's why it's so good. I love doing research and coming up with these nuggets because it's like, well, no wonder. You know, so, um, 20 years ago, uh, at the Grammy's country, singer Shelby Lynne won best new artist. And when she accepted her award, she was gracious and a little sassy. When she said best new artist. It only took me 13 years and six albums to get here. That is the only speech I've ever remembered. I didn't even know that artist. And I, 20 years later, I think about it all the time. Because again, we talked about judgment. People are like, oh, must be nice. She just showed up, started playing the guitar last year. And now she's winning a Grammy. No, she's like, I mean, can you imagine what any best new artists for album after album six? Anyway, I just, I love it. I love that story. So, so keep going, keep trusting in the process purpose. Why is this important to you? Why do you want to do this thing? You say you want to do? I've heard a lot of really weak purposes, but a strong purpose, a strong why? For me, it was salmon Roth who I lost to suicide. They are my reason. I dedicated my book to them. They are the reason I keep going, even when it's hard, because they, this message this purpose so much greater than me. So let's, let's focus on a cause greater than ourselves. It's not enough that that we make an impact. We need to inspire and help all the people around us as well. Preparation. You know, we all know when, when you're prepared, you have, um, have you, you've created better habits, which leads to improve behaviors, which lead to better results, boost your confidence. So be prepared and practice. I think of, I almost called him, my friend. He's not my friend. I feel like energetically. He is, but Tom Brady and I were both big 10 athletes at the same time I swam at Penn state course. He played football at Michigan and he's still winning super bowls. And my knees hurt when I go to Pilates. So I, I bow down to you, Tom Brady, but that's an illustration of practice. Tom is competing at this level and training harder than anyone. Not because he's the worst, but because he's the best. So your talent merits investment. Let's show up. Let's put in some reps, pause. That's the full spirit workout. It's about non-reactivity. So you get the upsetting email. You really want to tell the jerk they're being a jerk, but you know, to ruin the relationship forever. Ooh, let's take a pause. Let's go within. Let's be non-reactive and that's, that's also a muscle that you develop gets easier over time person. This is one of my favorites to my speaking coach, Eduardo, Paul, Sarah always says to me, just be a freaking person, meaning quit obsessing with perfection or giving the perfect speech. There's no such thing. Just be a freaking person, right? Manatee is sexy and good enough and authentic and relatable. Just be a freaking person.
Speaker 3:I love it. And thanks for the plug for Tom Brady and Tampa.
Speaker 2:Yeah, exactly. We are loving it down here. All right. So
Speaker 3:Number five, building emotional muscles.
Speaker 2:Yes. Yeah. And this is really, as I like to say, when you see the anger train coming, don't get on board. So this is building the mental and emotional musculature. Not only can withstand any storm, but you know, it's changing your default setting. So becoming aware of your triggers and what bothers you and without judgment. And, and by the way, when we're being triggered, it's because our values are being threatened. So if you really value freedom, and someone is trying to control you or tell you to be a certain way, or put you in a box, if you're like me, you're going to be like, oh my gosh, leave me alone. And then it's just like, why am I so upset by this? It's because your value is being triggered. So I think becoming more aware of that, and, and this is also a practice and, you know, letting people off the hook, um, except that people can't give you what they don't have. Maybe the customer service person can't grant your request because they haven't been properly trained. Maybe your partner isn't loving you properly because they haven't developed that skill within themselves. So, so much of what happens to us, isn't about us. And I think the more that we can just, you know, be in a place of, of, of forgiveness and acceptance the better
Speaker 3:For sure. The other thing that you talk about in this chapter, and like I said earlier, I think each chapter could be its own book. You talk also about how thoughts become things, choose great thoughts, right? So many people just don't and they don't realize those thoughts are like, I tell people just because, just because you can't hear a dog whistle doesn't mean it doesn't make a sound right. Just because you can't see brain waves coming out from the skull doesn't mean those thoughts and vibrations, aren't vibrating out into the universe. And I think those thoughts cause people and things to happen, things that people to resonate with them. And I can't explain how it all happens. I've read other books by other people that try to explain it. But I just love how you get into that. Thoughts become things. So just choose great thoughts. I loved it,
Speaker 2:Right? It is easier said than done. I get that. But that's why it is a practice. It's not easy winning a super bowl. It's not easy being married. I say that as a non-married person, there's a reason to get married. I give you all so much credit. It's so hard being a parent. So I don't know why we think it should be so easy or we should have all mastered getting a handle on our thoughts. It's a practice like anything else. And I just encourage and invite you to make it a priority like you do. You're, you're eating and you're sleeping and you're taking care of your kids or your career.
Speaker 3:Well, I loved it. And that gets us to number six, boost your mental metabolism, right?
Speaker 2:So we're, we're familiar that the things that we eat or drink will turn into calories. That's produces our, our physical energy, how we move about the day. But our thoughts, like you said, our thoughts are affecting our mental metabolism. So you want that, that nice, you know, energy, that's going to keep you going, let's start having some better self-talk, let's, let's start replacing some of these thoughts. And so we feel so tired and drained all the time because we're not even aware of the self-talk and now you're being, hopefully you're going to start becoming more conscious and aware and it's like, whoa, I just really judged that person. Or, and I'm judging that person because I'm in constant state of judgment of myself. Um, so you're going to start becoming more clear. And that's the first step is, is that awareness and being willing to admit that we've developed some bad habits and we've got some, some stuff to clean up, but this is really making our thoughts work for us rather than against us. How many people self included have you heard? I need to get out of my own way. You know, we, we get so upset when other people, you know, say horrible things about us or the people we love. But I think if we're really honest, we're all guilty of dishing out some pretty harsh criticism that is doing nothing for our wellbeing or our success.
Speaker 3:For sure. Nothing. Um, I heard, uh, I don't know if you've ever heard of the speaker just goes by a single name, new Yorker. And, uh, uh, I, I like NERC has work and new Yorker, uh, talks about how we have at least 60,000 thoughts a day. Our mind is constantly talking to us and about learning, how to control what our mind is saying and how our mind is controlling us rather than us controlling our mind. So, so critically important, which brings us to seven step up your spiritual stamina.
Speaker 2:Yeah. And just a quick pause. I'll exercise one of my piece here, a quick pause, as you were saying that, because I had a physical reaction like, oh, that's exhausting in a way, because I can hear people saying, well, how do I help God help me clean up my thoughts for me, one of the most effective ways to do this is to do what I call, sit and stare. I developed this hardcore, um, and locked down 15, 16 months ago. And you do exactly what it says. You sit and stare quietly in a room alone, turn off your distractions, stare out the window, stare straight ahead. And I want you to check in with yourself like you would a small child and ask, how are you doing? What do you need right now? What's working. And if you feel extra, brave and bold, you can say, I'm so proud of you. You really rock that interview or like great job dealing with that really difficult person. You didn't lose your cool. You spoke to them with grace and kindness. Bravo, Bravo. Again, that's some ma it almost sounds absurd to say out loud, because what do we usually say to ourselves? You suck, why'd you do that? I can't believe you had love my God, you below. All right. And it's like, that has become normalized, but great job. I'm so proud of you. And you're like, oh, why are you talking to yourself? Like
Speaker 3:None of us take the time to self-soothe self nurture. We at least I can talk for myself. I beat myself up. So, so terribly. And, um, I expect more from myself and, and sometimes I need to work on that just self-soothing self-nurturing. And, uh, thanks for that pause. It's it's good to be reminded
Speaker 2:This a good pause and just another quick thing to that, because I even, even, I had a moment today where I'm just like, wow, I'm really tired. And there's that, that voice it's like, why are you so tired? You haven't done it. Nothing's ever now you haven't done enough. And I thought, well, actually, and I listed, but what? And it's just, and then I, so myself Sue there at the truth and me said, it's very appropriate that you're tired and kind of listed the reasons why. And even if there wasn't a bunch of reasons, but I think checking in with the truth, which is our divine wisdom, rather than the ego mind, that's always going to tell you where you're not adding up. Right. But so the spiritual, the spirit step seven, step up your shirt. Okay. Sorry. Okay. Oh, thank you. That's great. Yeah, no, that's good. This step. Oh. Cause I think of the story that, that, that leads this, this step off and you know, I talk about, um, surrender. This is about surrender. This is about taking your O your grip. That's like clenching on off the wheel. Of course you're putting in your, your action steps, but you're releasing. And, and you're leaning into that trust muscle. And, and I think of a story that explains the reason that I'm alive and you know, my mother couldn't get pregnant for nearly eight years. And my dad almost didn't come back from the Vietnam war. And my mom had, you know, health issues. I mean, it's a true miracle that any of us are here, but, you know, growing up, my mom always called my brother and me miracle children. And I started to learn more about her story. As I got older and Gina, she couldn't get pregnant. The doctor said you're going to have to adopt. She was devastated. You know, she's one of those women who really wanted to be a mom. And I said, well, how did you get pregnant? Because obviously I'm here. My brother's here. We're her biological children. And she said, I gave up and she didn't mean she threw in the towel or quit being with my dad. She's a woman of faith. And, and she, she gave it up to God to a higher power. And I think that took the stress and pressure off of her body. She got pregnant with my brother a month later. He and I are 18 months apart. And it just, it really explains that again, this is a practice. My mom just didn't do that. Like Willy nilly or like, oh, I should give it up. It's taking that intellect and moving it down into our hearts and our bodies. That's what, because becomes wisdom. So that's, that's think of driving a car that's wisdom that lives in our body. We don't have to think about, we just, we don't get in and think, okay, now we all know how to drive because we've done it so much. It's wisdom in our body. So this is moving that surrender step down into our bodies. And then you bring it from your heart down into your hands and you, you practice. And this is where, you know, I talk about rejection a lot in the book. I feel like a rejection specialist. I've been rejected so many times in so many different, I'm a proper rejection specialist, you know, because now I can talk about it and what worked for me and, and what was going on behind the scenes. But even getting this book, I was faced with some rejection before I got the deal and, you know, look doing the same thing with God and the angels. Like, you know what? I don't even have time to do this right now. I took this divine project on for you. You want me to do it? You figure it out. I'm done. Like I was mad and, and, and being at my favorite pizza place in New York and hearing that divine wisdom that said being okay if it happens and okay, if it doesn't is a very powerful place to be, it means that you're going to be fine either way. And if this doesn't happen, then that will happen and you'll get to where you need to go. And in that moment, I thought, you know what? I'm going to get this book deal. This, this book is meant to be into the world. It has a higher purpose. I don't care when it happens, because I know it will happen. Two weeks later after this was months of like run around with, with things. Two weeks later, I was on a phone call with my now publisher and my agent and things really can and do work that fast when we do the work. And it seems, or feels like magic, but it's not magic at all. It's just, you've done the work. The universe is like, all right, she's ready. Give her the thing. I think to that, thank God I didn't get this book deal when I wanted, because I hadn't finished my master's degree. I got seven other certifications in that time. I was really committed to this project and the work and making it not just good, but fantastic. And so I think how great it's in it and on my terms, and we, we don't know these things, but I refer to this story. So often I go back, I read sections of my book all the time, because we all need that reminder when we're often never, never land forgetting who we are to be brought back to the truth. And, and it is a practice. And sometimes the work is stepping away and going for a walk or taking a nap and just letting things be
Speaker 3:Absolutely absolutely trusting. And in letting things be trusting that the universe has our back and for some people maybe that they're not quite there yet. And there's other people that I know are in complete lock step with what we're saying. But I think that for everybody, I would encourage just to think about those times in the life in your life, where things sort of happen, that you didn't really push or make happen, and that's the universe having your back. So anyhow, that brings us to embracing your endorphins. What is that all about? We understand what endorphins are sorta, but what do you mean here in the spirit or in spiritual sense?
Speaker 2:This is about joy. And, and when I did my research and ask people what brings them joy? The good news is not one person brought up a material item. And I like nice things. As much as the next person. I like room service and fluffy robes and slippers and nice skincare. I will never pretend I don't, but, and I'm when I asked myself to, you know, I came up with something I'm paraphrasing, but when I tuned in, I was like, joy is the complete, you know, surrender to an acceptance of the present moment and whatever is here right in front of us. But people brought up beautiful things like watching their two year old, watching the bees, do their job and seeing the awe and wonder in his eyes. And I thought, wow, that's beautiful. And I think of this woman, she's a multimillionaire. She didn't bring up her fancy vacations. She brought up her two year old's eyes watching the bees. And I thought, that's so beautiful, but we overlook those things because we're like, oh, I need more. I need more, I need more. And a quick way to really, you know, change the channel and get into gratitude and spirit and embrace our endorphins. Enjoy is, think of someone or something who lights you up. I mean, for me, Teddy, my parents 11 year old golden doodle just came into the picture. He's pure love and joy. That dog makes me so happy. I think of places, you know, that's why I love to travel. Even if it's just to the neighborhood next to mine. I mean, certainly my favorite places are lake Como and Portugal, but when I'm in those places, I really just study what I'm doing. And as you know, when you travel experiences live in your heart forever, that's why I love education and experiences. No one can ever take it from you. And so recall that time where you just felt so at peace in yourself and in the world and, and bring that up,
Speaker 3:Which brings us to number nine, rock the freedom lifestyle. I love it.
Speaker 2:Yeah. This is, you know, usually in the world you think, oh, let's rock it. And that, that equates with sucks material success and impressing people and, uh, all the flashy things. Um, and that's great. And, and we all love that. But in this sense, rocking, it is really about making this a lifestyle. So becoming the person who can naturally attract what you want rocking, it is more about getting really still and calm and confident on the inside, letting that come from within it's the only place that it can truly grow. And the only place where it can't be rattled or shaken. So making this a way of life, which, which does take the practice, but we're also having fun with it. I mean, fun is in the subtitle. I I've made these exercises fun. A man the other week said to me, this is a life resource tool that you can turn to again and again. And I said, I'm going to steal that. I like that because these are exercises you're actually going to want to do, right. Because you're having fun with it. And then you can team up with a, you know, spiritual running buddy and really make this a way of life,
Speaker 3:Which kind of brings us down to after all of these nine steps, these hard and difficult. If you want to steps that are, have some work attached to them. Getting to that last part. I always, when I would do yoga is like that last one, which was laid down and cooled down. So talk to us, cooling down.
Speaker 2:It's my favorite part of yoga. The only thing I'm good at and yoga classes, Shavasana, I'm like, yes, I'm great at this. Like, I'm excellent at yoga. I can, we do a whole class of, and so yes, we are. We are cooling down with, with our inner calm and, and an exercise that a lot of people love from this step is creating what I call to be lists. So we all have those dreaded to do lists the endless list, or now it's like the endless list of zoom. So even in your, and your, and your calendar schedule in that time, even if it's 10 minutes, you know, five to five, 10 sit and stare time, six to six 40 walking meditation, um, you know, eight to nine, I'm going to create my to be list and your, your, to be lists or characteristics that you'd like to embody for that day. So maybe it's, or maybe you're going on a first date and it's again, not what should I do, or, oh my gosh. Or, you know, it's who do I want to be? Not just on this date, but in a romantic relationship, who do I want to be on this job interview or in this role, I want to be confident. I want to be playful. I want to be assertive. I want to, you know, pick your, your adjectives. And then how can you embody that? I'm confident as I wear an outfit that makes me feel good in my skin. I'm assertive. As I asked whatever, you know, I'm making things up here, but I think the more time we can spend on who we want to be again, we naturally attract the, the life that we desire
Speaker 3:By being that's what you said. Yeah. By, by being it. Yeah. Just be it, be it. Yeah. When you are, you attract more of it. Right. Like I don't, I don't, you know, like for example, Kate, you know, I'm sure everybody would say, wow, she is bubbly. She's fond. She's enthusiastic. She's engaging and get Kate, you make it look easy. Right. But I don't know if underneath did you have, before we were able to get on the phone, did you have some things that didn't quite go your way? Did you have some things that maybe today wasn't as easy as you're making it look, but you are embodying fun and joy and engagement, and it's easy for somebody to see no matter what else happened to you today, you are be eating what you will be attracting to yourself. And I think just being with you as a great example of what it is that you're saying in that chapter,
Speaker 2:Thank you. And it's just, I, my intention is to be present and connect with you. The end, those are two things. Be present, connect with Greg, the end, everything else flows and just happens. I'm trusting. I I'm, I'm doing all of the things I just spoke about for the past hour. Literally live as an example. Um, some days it's easy, other days it's challenging, but regardless of how I'm feeling, the upsetting thing that happened, I'm exhausted. Whatever, showing up, be willing to show up, do your best, not be great first or ever be present, focus on connecting with yourself or whomever you with the rest will take care of itself. I am the proof. I don't always have it all together. I, you know, a couple of hours ago I was in my pajamas and feeling like a mess, whatever I had McHale juice, I had my toast. Just be willing to show up everybody, just show up and have some fun. Right?
Speaker 3:Well, Kate, I, I do want to thank you very much for showing up. I do want to encourage our listeners and only because I truly believe it that the full spirit workout, even if you only get this book for the 10 affirmations, that that's what the blue little sticky notes are. There's 10 of them in there, the 10 affirmations. Because if you want to build your life on purpose, if you want to create the life you want to live the, I think at least eight of those
Speaker 1:10, start with the words I am. And so you are building through those affirmations. The I am that you're telling your brain, you're going to be, you're going to be calm in that telling the universe of who you want and what you want to attract your life. So Kate, thank you for your time and thank you for your great book.
Speaker 2:Thank you so much. I appreciate you so much. It's my absolute joy to be here. I'm embracing my endorphins with you and your audience
Speaker 1:Saying here. Thanks again. Have a great day. You too.